GET OUT OF MY WAY

BY BIKRAM VOHRA

Two things that ticked me off yesterday. One, three occasions when three idiots parked their vehicles on the white line ensuring that they had invaded the second square so that when you came back to your car there was 5.6 inches between your door and the side of that badly parked car and you had to perform a Houdini to get in without denting the enemy. Then you find the enemy has already dented you, that thin surgical line streaking your paintwork. And have you noticed, it does not matter what colour your car is, the other will be dramatically different and by the third time I was ready for battle. It does not require rocket science to calculate that the rectangle box with white lines is for parking within them not on or over them. That is why the traffic authorities have put them on the road.

It is in this teed off three scratches on the car mood that I go to meet someone who is unfashionably late since I believe there is nothing fashionable about being late. Naturally, there is no apology, nothing, like so what is 30 minutes. Then he begins to advise me. And he says it is for my own good. I cannot stand people who have my good at heart and say it. Especially when they want to set it to music. It is like people who say, can you take the truth or let me give it to you straight. Oh please, the lord save us from the pious. You have no interest in what’s good for me. You just want to be a hero in your own scenario and impose on me. That badly parked car and the intrusion of people like this, same difference. They just block your path. Take my advice. If anyone tells you they are doing something for your own good (own being redundant because if they are talking to you why say ‘own’) give them a wide berth. Run as fast as you can, before they trap you.