BY BIKRAM VOHRA
Do you love your credit card? I hate them. But what really goes up my nose is the huge gap between the bank per se giving you service and the demand it makes on you to give these institutions what you owe them.
Like at 0820 you get call telling you that you were 8 AED short on your credit card payment. This is said to you in sepulchral tones as if a) the skies were about to fall b) the SWAT team was outside your door and c) the whole bank staff was glued to this call and it was a Red Alert in the war room of the hallowed organization.
So you say, oh, okay, it isn’t the end of the world.
You get a long, gluey silence which translated into sound says, yes it is.
You say, hello, can you hear me.
How will you make the payment?
What?
How will you make the payment.
I just paid 1600 bucks yesterday.
Could you ensure that you will make the remaining payment by noon today.
These are the same people who take five days to get your check cashed after ‘four working days and six working days’ or whatever working days suits them and they want you to run and give 8 dirhams before High Noon.
Well, I have four meeting, I am giving a speech after that and then we have our annual end of year presentation so maybe…
… please try to put the money in by 12 o’clock.
Will you listen to me?
Will you pay by western union or at the branch?
I cannot pay it by 12 o’clock.
Second gluey silence. Followed by burst water-pipe of generosity.
Then make sure you pay it by 4 pm.
Otherwise we will shoot you.
That is so might kind of them. Four o’clock. Four hours grace.
Obviously, you don’t pay it and at 4.30 you get a call.
Can we have the receipt number proving that you paid the 8 dirhams.
Yes, of course, I am sitting here in a board meeting and we are on an international network and I am making a presentation but, what could be more important than the receipt which naturally I carry everywhere… are you kidding??????