Asian Lite News Archive

Category: Daily Dose

  • GET ON YOUR BIKE, SIR

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra So, what do you think? Should the woman who claims she was sexually assaulted by Union Minister of State Nihal Chand get to meet Prime Minister Narendra Modi. She has asked for just such a meeting and wants to prove to him there are grounds for which to sack her…

  • SULLEN IN THE SHOP

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra Every owner of every retail store or supermarket knows they are on the staff. The sulky, sullen, indifferent salesperson who makes for such an unpleasant shopping experience. If you hate your job so much leave it, find another one. But if you come to a service industry and retail is…

  • THE GREAT INDIAN HANG UP WITH FOOD

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    DAILY DOES by Bikram Vohra Our fascination with food reaches unchallenged heights when it comes to ‘enjoying’ other people’s hospitality. They call you for dinner, you scarf down a solid meal then you spend the ride back home breaking apart each dish and the knocking the caterer or the home-cooked meal or the dessert and…

  • LET’S RUIN YOUR MOOD 

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    Daily Dose by Bikram Vohra So, I am standing at this party like one of those shabby relatives at a rich man’s wedding, a little out of place, a little awed by the opulence and wondering why I can’t be home reading a book when this half stranger, like most people in our lives, walks…

  • The Strong Silent PMs

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    DAILY DOSE by Bikram Vohra I think it is a great idea that Prime Minister Modi is spring-cleaning the corridors of power and their fusty, musty, dusty cupboards full of red tape. About time this was done. However, when you are new and people expect you to climb mountains without oxygen and perform mini-miracles before…

  • CHANGE OF PACE:Animal Farm

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra I love animal parables. That’s because animals are smarter than most of the people I know. I always recall a sign on the table at an airline executive’s office. It read: “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or…

  • UNAPPEALINGLY YOURS

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra What is your most unappealing feature? Most of us go through life never even asking ourselves this simple question. Just like with cosmetics we are more inclined to camouflage our negatives and pretend they do not exist. But it is a fascinating exercise in piercing the self-deception. It stands to…

  • WHAT, IT’S BEEN 35 YEARS!

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra —-bikram@asianlite.asianlite.uk This time 35 years ago I was six hours from getting married. Everyone had gone off to get dressed and stuff so I was alone and I thought to myself, why not go down to the US Club and get in a game of squash. Then enjoy my wedding…

  • WILL SOMEONE STOP THIS NONSENSE

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra This is Babulal Gaur the Home Minister of the Indian state of MP: “Sometimes rape is wrong and sometimes it is right.” Who elected this man to any post? The sheer stupidity of the remark is difficult to grasp. When is a rape okay by any yardstick? Oh, when the…

  • MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS

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    Daily Dose by Bikram VohraI was pulling out of a parking space when this twit in a hurry bumped my car from behind. So, after grimacing at the clanging sound, I moved my car back into the space and this guy he just drove off. Zip. Hey, I shouted, hey being the stupidest thing to…

  • CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra You know they have these psycho tests where they give you word association and you respond and then the analyst works out where the worms in your mind are and how they are wriggling. Like are you bananas or psycho yourself or a potential serial killer, misanthrope, whatever. I was…

  • SILENCE THIS IS THE AIRPORT 

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra So some bright spark woke up in the corridors of power and had a sparkling idea. He decided in his bureaucratic wisdom to make New Delhi a silent airport. When you enter the terminal there all these signs saying sssshh, this is a silent airport. You would think you are…

  • TEED OFF IN TELUGU

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra This could happen to you. These days it happens far more often than you think. Sri was studying at a US University in a small town in California when his father came to visit him. Now, his dad is a golf nut and any chance he gets he plays anywhere…

  • WHY DO WIVES….

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    DAILY DOSE by Bikram Vohra What is it about wives that they never find their husband’s jokes funny? Some other guy will tell a wishy washy frightful story and your wife will roar with unbridled laughter. You begin to relate a really good, tried and tested joke and she’ll say, oh no, not that boring…

  • TROUBLE WITH TRIVIA 

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram VohraHave you ever had trivia wreck your sleep? Like what was the name of the author of Peyton Place or who acted in ‘To hell and back’ or what were the names of the Von Trapp family kids? You are up at 2 in the morning wracking your brains for that…

  • NO,NO,THIS IS NOT FUNNY 

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram for Asian Lite, the global newspaper for NRIs and International Indians Something I dislike is being indignant. I always feel you lose somehow by being so. But sometimes something goes up your nose so violently you cannot help but respond. I ask myself, do we have a specific hang up as…

  • VOHRA THE APPLICANT

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra So I read this ad for an editor and it says they want a dynamic guy with 10 years experience. I have 45 years which means I am batting at 400% and when it comes to dynamism you should see me whizzing about on the badminton court. Human dynamo is…

  • MURDER OF THE ENGLISH TONGUE

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra looks in to the gimmicks of politicians to get attention I have no problem with Sushma Swaraj being India’s Foreign Minister and not speaking English. No big deal. And if Mr Modi wants to speak only Hindi and Gujarati go for it, mate, English does not make a difference to…

  • WHAT A GREAT RIDE, GIRL

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    DAILY DOSE BY Bikram Vohra for Asian Lite, the best newspaper for NRIs and the Indian diaspora The Ambassador has come to a standstill. No more production. Officially the end of an era. What a car, what a magnificent history. All you needed was a wet cloth, a piece of sand paper and some string…

  • GET SET FOR THE POST IPL DEPRESSION

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra is asking the IPL fans to get ready for the post IPL depression If you are a cricket fan you could be one of the 35% doctors say could suffer from a very real ailment called PTD. Post Tournament Depression. It happens in many sports and it is now happening…

  • GOTTAGO GOTTAGO

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    Bikram Vohra’s DAILY DOSE for Asian Lite, top Asian newspaper in the UK My flight into Delhi did not disappear. It whispered onto the runway and did a three point touchdown. As the aircraft slowed and trundled to its gate there was a sudden of shouting that seemed to increase in intensity and became confrontational.…

  • WHAT’S UP, DOC?

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra Sat on a flight next to a pretty decent looking person. Like dignified and all that. Mutually decided not to speak to each other, which is fine by me, I HATE making airplane friendships. Anyway, some how we established eye contact half way through and stuttered into a conversation. He…

  • MR MODI’S DRUMBEAT

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra What if they were not crocodile tears that Modi cried for Advani, even as he sought a handkerchief and sipped water and cracked his voice with emotion in a scene so bizarre and yet so effective. What if the kneeling down and kissing the step of the house was not…

  • THE PERILS OF PAGE 3 PEOPLE 

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra Many years ago I wrote about this couple who were not A list. More like a B or B plus. Not rich enough, not famous enough, not pow­erful enough. So, while they were pretty active on the city circuit they were never at the best places. Just second best. Sort…

  • IN THE BAG

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    DAILY DOSE By Bikram VohraSome things fascinate me. Like people who buy watches for $100,000. I am sure it must be a lovely feeling to have that kind of money on your wrist but does it improve the quality of time. I don’t suggest you wear a Mickey Mouse plastic watch but such an exorbitant…

  • UP THE DOWN STAIRCASE

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    DAILY DOSE BY Bikram VohraThese past few days I have been invited to come on radio channels and give my opinion on Mr Modi’s victory. I have shied away from most of them because I really don’t know anything in depth enough to make an assessment and all I do know is that the Chief…

  • FRIENDS, INDIANS AND COUNTRYMEN 

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    DAILY DOSE BY Bikram Vohra After 10 years of silence at the top Mr Modi’s speeches in Vadodra and Ahmedabad were a rich repast of rhetoric, slick oratory, some common and earthy similes and a fair amount of theatrics. He could have been a professional actor going through the motions or so naturally honest and up…

  • Don’t Carry baggage, Let Go

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    DAILY DOSE BY BIKRAM VOHRA – The most difficult thing to do: Move on, drop the past, don’t carry baggage from yesterday into tomorrow. It doesn’t matter whether it is a friendship, a job, love, business, most of us trap ourselves by lugging unnecessary cargo and falling down under its weight. Let it go. I…

  • THE BANK SCAM

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    DAILY DOSE BY BIKRAM VOHRA There is this bank, okay. I closed my credit cards with them over a year ago. Like zero, zero. On both the Visa and the Mastercard. Then I cut up the cards and threw away the shackles. Happy camper. Celebrate. Imagine my surprise this week when I get a call…

  • THE DIET

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    DAILY DOSE BY BIKRAM VOHRA There is no worse sensation than wearing an old trouser after a long time and discovering it does not fit, too snug, that little bit too tight and there goes your mood for the rest of the day. After which you make all those fervent promises to yourself that you…

  • JOURNALIST HEAL THYSELF 

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    Daily Dose by Bikram Vohra This was sent to me. I don’t know how authentic it is but the content is rivetting. Nothing has changed, not really, in fact, it has become worse and more is the pity…so many of my tribe can see themselves reflected, those who fought and went out, those who buckled…